My  mom in Uruguay   still has a bunch  of paper pix of me
                                          up until age  22.....                                                                                                                                         


Born in 1967 in Uruguay, where ongoingly persecuted for my looks (for them I was so ugly I deserved harassment). I was the Bearded Woman of the
Circus! I was also a clumpsy & aloof  A+ nerd. By worse at age 10 I knocked my front teeth off in a bad bicycle accident & then I was Dracula too. In
1973 coup d'etat, bloody dictatorship. Communist family: dad in jail, mom & I refuged in UN and sent to Mexico City in 1978. A lot groovier, but
super polluted toxic & unsafe. In the streets people didn't know what gender I was & they would harass me, specially if they thought I was a man
pretending to be a woman; but often grabbed my butt anyhow. At the end of the dictatorship mom returned to Uruguay. At 19 I married a mexican  
indie rockstar  & acquired citizenship. We divorced after a couple volatile years, & a short stint as bassist of
his band, Santisimo Mitote: (Adilson Balderas, me, my ex Tiky Hagen, pictured).
By age 22 I was smoking 2-4 packs! of cigarretes a day, major compulsive eating & CocaCola & coffee fiend,
casually  but steadily drinking  & consuming whatever array of stimulants were offered at parties, madly
obsessed with relationships, severely depressed. Though I was well known in the scene for my bass playing, dancing & outrageous fashions & I had
lots of friends, nothing seemed right.
Since my childhood I tortuously did all this things to look normal: shave, depilate, or die my moustache & beard blond; pluck
my eyebrows thin, but it didn't seem to  neutralize people's reaction, plus it was like a fight against myself.
Not qualifying for any visa, I came to USA illegally  & paradoxically immediately felt safer & more in my element, and knew I could never stand to go
back. I finally let my facial hair grow freely. My sexual orientation was always open minded, & I'm most attracted to androgynous creatures, so
what's not to love about my facial hair? I was born this way, & I like it.
Around my 24th birthday, I perused through Kulvinskas's Survival* & I was inmediatly and forever convinced on fruitarianism, meditation and
communing.  Moreover, it overtook my mind, pervaded the way I viewed everything, taking  over my entire life. More than just the diet though,
fruitarianism inspired the constant insight that most human activity is a harmful side effect of the original food addiction & that we really need to
try entirely different ways of living & relating. I went full into yoga and pranayama, started getting really posessed playing instruments & singing &
soon started coming up with all kinds of neotribal  meditations, practices, & performance (see
Alomistical Meditation). I found a completeness, a
fullness of life flowing through me that allowed me to quit tobacco, alcohol, random stimulants, soda & coffee.
Within a couple of years I was mostly fruitarian instinctive occasionally raw freegan. Decided for full renunciation, quit sedentary living in solid
buildings, sex or committed relationships unless with people interested on a similarly intentional commune (see Miracle Neotribe), tweaking around
doing unnecessary stuff, & many other things I saw as addictive pursuits. I commited to favoring a gift economy, all around frugality & waste
recycling rather than the random pursuit of money & frivoluos activity. I started looking into the waste for fruit and other stuff, always surprised to
find enough to provide, specially cool clothes. I felt incredibly alive strong happy  talented & enlightened, and I thought I would prosper performing
& doing playshops and retreats and counseling (see
Alomentoring), & serendipitously connect with beautiful people who wanted to grow &
transcend along and form a tribe.
Somehow it didn't turn out that way. I was always too weird, radical, opinionated, intense, spectacular, avant-guard,  scary, even limiting, boring…..
you name it! & mainly freaked people out. Plus I couldn't enjoy much: sofas, tables, fire, noisy appliances and machines,  loud backbeats, blunt
commerce, blind consumptions, endlessly possesive compulsive  uptight and separated human behavior... list goes on: everything seems toxic
and/or in the way of communion & expansion. & I'm really not good at casual conversation, I'm always
rad raw ranting.  I went to many communal
outdoor festivals & events such as Rainbow Gatherings, hitchhiking all over the US. I met thousands of people but was largely on my own.  I
momentarily impressed and fascinated people, fleetingly influenced, inspired, helped with healing, addiction withdrawal & conflict resolution all
over the places, sometimes even saved lives & certainly limbs with my radical insights, occasionally getting really close & even falling in love with
some, but it never translated into anybody really joining or supporting the life I wanted to create, or even being able to make serious music or
performance or videos or whatever, much the least playshops. More often than not it was held against me, sometimes quite viciously. It haunted
me to see people endeavor all kind of projects & practices & alternative realities together but never finding anybody to agree or groove with.
Sometimes I would retreat all by myself in whatever forest I could get dropped off at. Most notably, I stayed a whole month in the desert after
Burning Man '97 with many coolers of leftover fruit & 28 watermelons, which I had to beg them not to shoot as targets. But many other times I just
had raisins...
So I ended up carrying my instruments around for no good reason, sometimes loosing, or getting them stolen or destroyed. So often I'd be so sad to
find a beautiful pile of fruit in some dumpster but not be able to carry it or share it.
Sometimes I just had a back pack, sometimes up to 10 wheeled suitcases. Being illegal, I wasn't able to have a driver license so I could have some
sort of wagon, & I didn't feel strong enough to take the road by myself on a bike, though I did live out of my bike  when in a city, most often San
Francisco. Mostly I was penniless,  nude modeling rarely (one photo spread titled me "Hairy & Hopeful").
Occasionally I just couldn't stand it & I'd have a bulimic episode: eat whatever vegetarian I could find and puke it away. In one of those I managed
to swallow a plastic (doesn't show up in X rays) fork. It took 5 months for them to even believe me & surgically remove it, during which I shattered
my elbow (again on a bike) & had it reconstructed (good thing I was in San Francisco, where the indigent received free
medical attention). Both healed shockingly fast: it took one month, not six, to regain full elbow movement.
In '97 I met my now husband Matthew at a  garbage dumpster. Though neat, gorgeous, educated & groovy, he
was on his bike, slept in the park, wasn't interested on money & things....was as "off the hook" as I knew anyone.
As a devoted scavenger, he was an opportunivore by default, but he knew raw was right. I thought he was the
most transcendental & compatible ever, but he  didn't think I was all that & soon left me for a monogamous
relationship. He was very mean & disdainful.
Then I lost my uruguayan birth certificate & mexican citizenship paper, which caused me to have to go back to
both countries just to reestablish some sort of official identity. Now in Uruguay they throw stones & garbage
bags or spit at me in the streets, always calling me ugly. My mom wouldn't give me the return  plane ticket (to
Mexico) & wanted to institutionalize me.  When I finally made it back to Mexico & tried to get through the
mexican/US border, I got severelybusted, raped, stolen, lice... I freaked out & went back to Mexico City & stayed
there for a whole year. Next summer I just had to try back, this time with nothing but a change of clothes & a few music tapes,
& I made it right through.
By then I was decided to legalize myself & make some money so I could try to do it all on my own power. It had become like "Uruguay is hell,
Mexico limbo & USA...well pretty livable".. .I applied for asylum (on the basis of misplaced transgender discrimination) & in good time: soon came  
9/11, & after that freedom turned to repression: lots more police, always asking for ID, metal detectors everywhere ring to my elbow pins, people
in general are a lot less friendly and open....
With my first ID I flew to Hawaii. I fell 8 feet into lava rock, dislocated hip & pelvis, but after rapidly recovering I was able to focus enough to write
my first
Rad Raw Rant. Back in the Mainland I was also able to learn to drive & get a license.
And then Matthew came back to me in 2003. During the years we were apart he realized I'm his trancendental destiny, wanted to marry
me & stay with me forever living under my guidance, and he became my first Miracle. So we spent a few years in our own world, learning
to be together, summers in the woods in Mount Shasta, winters in  San Francisco. (We  almost went to the 2004 Rainbow Gathering but
we found 132 watermelons we couldn't carry along. Bears raided our camp, but they still lasted us  months.) It took a while for him to get into
all the meditations,  the music, and some lifestyle details. We went through a few vehicles, each  bigger than the last; he turned out really
inventive at making them livable.
We did some modeling & unfortunately marihuana harvesting  for some cash: in 2006 we went to jail for possession for a whole month.
Luckily they didn't deport me but  they sent me to a drug diversion for 7 months. In this period we got married & got our first cellphone.
When I was almost done inmigration finally called me & refused me asylum. That started a years long grueling spousal case, repeatedly
denied.  In between Matthew had to have open heart surgery. He also recovered superfast: we were back in our van 4 days after the
operation, me driving!, with him holding on to a giant purple teddybear we found to protect  his chest. Then another years long process
to get him MediCal & SSI**. (Matthew was born with a defective aortic valve that had calcified. He presently has a porcine aortic valve that
needs to be replaced in another 10 years or so & ongoing checkups, plus he's chronically depressed.)
I hadn't had an episode since the fork, but after jail dumpster bulimia insued (whatever leftover I could find in whatever trash on my way to-back
from all this places I really couldn't stand to be forced to be. My "real life" in between was still all fruit, which I didn't puke) & started drinking
(minimal amounts) of coffee again. We became quite hysterical and fearful, very depressed & isolated.
Miraculously,  2008-10 Leora joined us, helped & supported us in all kinds of ways (& brought the gadgets in), so I could finally! produce a music CD
and the Tranceformance & Fruit Frenzy videos. Sadly, we didn't quite get along & she left us generously with all the equipment and the amazing
Alomobile. By then they had granted Matthew SSI in 2009 & me residency in 2010 and I had gotten over bulimia & calmed down. All that time we
were stationed/stuck in San Francisco. Luckily it was one or the grooviest places that I knew of, & there's huge gorgeous Golden Gate Park, where
there's many  inner roads we could park  & pretend we were camping out, play & dance till 10 pm, and then there's was so much fruit in various
waste bins we always had enough to feed a tribe (we gave a lot away, & even dried some on our dashboard), and I did learn to use the computer &
the Internet....& slowly but surely managed to put this website together. But it was generally colder & foggier than ideal.
Free to roam relieved from those concerns, 2010 we started performing & socializing some (fortunately there were lots of groovy outdoor events
spring summer & fall; indoors all year round***), but it's like we're from a different planet. Ever happier  with the nomad bubble we've finally
created despite all odds, ever eager  to expand, to share, to put my talents to good use for the evolution of humanity (please see Alomission
statement), still not too sure  how to go about it with our present capability (please see Alomanifestation Wishlist), or where to head to for a more
compatible reality.
Unfortunately most of these trascendental, sustainable choices that would significantly aid to heal the earth & our hearts, such as waste
awareness; poliamory; vehicular inhabitation (& nomadness in general), among others, are not recommended or respected, but, depending on the
place & culture, rather frowned upon, demonized, persecuted & in some cases even criminalized, making it very difficult, painful or impossible to
choose the life one would think healthiest. Sadly San Francisco has taken a turn from groovy, open minded, & lifestyle permissive to increasingly
repressive to downright draconian: The worst for us is they're restricting overnight parking for inhabitable vehicles. But many other new laws that
don't affect us so directly reflect they're creating an unfavorable & ever less livable enviro: evicting all recycling centers, banning nudity, outlawing
sitting & lying on the street, going full force homeless sweeping, what not…& some of the  biggest  dumpsters we counted on for years have been
doing the locking & grinding thing, really cramping our style. If we had a big fruitarian nomad thing going on & we could get official donations from
more benevolent big stores/farms all over  it wouldn't matter so much, but as of now ouch! Walls are closing in!
We were all excited about our Forbidden Fruit on Taboo, NatGeo TV, hoping it would uplift, connect & expand our lives!  Finally our opportunity to
be known for all beautiful & weird healing & art we do! Well that didn't go so well. Rather anticlimatic. They lied, misconstrued, demeaned &
exploited us in all kinds of ways. We are just "fruitarian dumpster divers" who "refuse to work". Though they play our music in the background, they
don't show us playing or mention it's ours, or show our dancing or performance art, barely show an uninviting, misleading glimpse of our playshops,
many etcs. Taboo Totally Twisted our Truth. Please see our
Disclaimer for more details.
We couldn't wait for the show to air, since they hadn't let us seen it yet… but ever since we feel doomed to obscurity, ashamed, hopeless & haunted
by our imprint on collective conscience. Millions have seen us dumpsters diving, but not our music or an accurate version of our fun healing  
practices. We feel like such a waste of healing talent! We truly believe we have a unique gift to help people Heal for Real in great fun, we also
deserve to shine & become solvent, & everybody oughta know about our  fun, groovy healing ways. Hopefully  there'll be opportunities to even it up
& show the beautyfull art & healing "work" we do to ample worldwide audiences as well.
We finally escaped the ongrowing uptightening & clouds of San Francisco. We're in Los Angeles. It's sooo a city, & a supertoxic & hectic one as that.
But it's friendly &  fancy & fun! Weather is awesome, there's so many events of all kinds to go dance & socialize! Not  much dumpster luck, but then
again we're happy to have liberated our time to devote ourselves to our careers…& it sure seems like the best place to get known….
We have so much talent & fun healing capacity to share with the world! & we only discover & develop more  as we grow younger…. Unfortunately,
our combo of extreme radicality & sheer disprivilege, & a long string of distracting & crippling adversity, we've ended up stuck in the non-conducive
position of disenfranchised pariahs in obscurity, our development all too often arrested. We need to breakthrough to a platform where we can
expand & put our talents to good use for the evolution of humanity!
All through my rocky, alienated life, I was stuck thinking I was really underground & could only develop myself in some sort of alternate reality. As
described above, that reality didn't befit me. In the last few years, with the web's omnipresence,  we've been checking news tidbits & videos &
getting aquainted with pop culture, & it turns out we could relate & liked a lot of what's going on & would like to get in the cultural dialogue. We
started collecting more chart toppers & ….. belting out to them, & realize that we love it, & we really can sing! Can we ever dance & act out! We
auditioned for AGT. Then we finally went on a  limb & reinvented ourselves with these pop cover videos & Vlog (Youtube
We're even surprised we managed & impressed with the results. We didn't know we'd be able too get through it, so ridiculously precarious are our
logistics! Technically homeless, on a below poverty budget…We must function on public space, & often need to run away from sudden
loud/dusty/toxic activities, so  many times we had to wrap it up & start over the next day. Luckily this time around the bus didn't break down in the
middle of it all! We did it! Stepping so far away from our self imposed obscure style! May it lift the veil of public obscurity off our lives.
Well, months after, nothing  came out of that either. So here we are, ever more full of life & energy & inspiration, but ever more frustrated,
depressed & anguished with disprivilege, constriction & desolation, like life is not worth living without being able to shine, without being able to
contribute to society & evolution, without being celebrated or even acknowledged, or able to celebrate with likely minded spirits. Maybe we are just
too rad & alternative for our own good. We are happy with each other & with our amazing bubble of life we've created, but though we think we are
fabulous & have a lot to offer, we haven't been successful at inserting ourselves in society. At all. We are isolated & too preoccupied with our
difficult lives. We've like, overgrown our passion, but we have no idea where to go shine bright & help change the future. It's like we are at the
breaking point: breakthrough or breakdown. Like we could save the whole world if we had a voice but we can barely save ourselves without one.
We don't even care we don't have money or luxury. We're happy scavengers! But the public voice, the space to safely let our creativity loose are
sorely missed. We need a jumpstart!
Instead, now we're truly endangered, & even our bubble of life may burst, as we just found out LA is working to pass a law banning vehicular
inhabitation, & our lives might fall apart, along with many other unhappy hippies. Despite the supreme court striking down a similar ban deeming it
unconstitutional & inhumane. Terrifying!  It would shatter the lives of thousands of us vehicular homeless, & put us back at the mercy of abusive law
enforcement & at risk of loosing our vehicles, often our only significant possession, not to mention dignity & self determination.  They'd be able to
break in & tear through our beautifull collage, looking for such delinquent objects as blankets, toothbrushes, or other incriminating evidence of
"lodging"; ticket us, jail us, force us to let go of the Alomobile or leave town, unless we find a livable lot we can afford to park in. So far is hasn't
passed council, & we can only hope it never does, though they're gonna keep redrafting it till they come up with a version they can pass. Bummer!
Better yet, we pray & hope that we find a proper platform & prosper before any persecuted gypsy tragedy cripples us way from our dreams!
Well, luckily, months after they still haven't passed it, & this summer we're very excited to have finally befriended a lot of very groovy avant-garde
artistic angelinos who are involved with events & spaces, so we can finally say our lives are not desperately isolated anymore. Yay! We're soo happy
about that! We've already started performing in some of their events & we're just about getting confident to start sharing our own events 7
mentoring. Hopefully we can finally prosper by sharing our many healing talents with an effervescent community!
I have no musical or dance instruction. I'm just possessed. I no longer read much either. No TV, no movies, no entertainment, except live
music/dance events, & of course brief videos & stuff online. There's too much going on in my life, & in my mind. It's ongoing outpouring Alomistical
inspiration, mostly tragically arrested by desolation & crippling calamity.  (The aformentioned are just a little sample, it's an endless saga. Just the
year I lived in India would write a book...)  Somehow through all the turmoil, though I get awfully depressed at times, I never felt the need to drink
or use any of the much wider variety of drugs available these days, or cigarets.  I never doubted my radical commitments. Only ever more confirmed
& developed, my deep beliefs, far out healing practices & trippy music steadily attuned me to the essential joy of pure being, kept me pretty blissed
out. I always felt like I already am the eversought precious thing that no worldly pursuits can fulfill.
I'm high on my own supply. I'm soo Alive!

*Viktoras Kulvinskas, "Survival into the 21st century. A Planetary Healer's Manual"

**MediCal: California's free medical insurance for the disabled. SSI: Supplemental Security Income for the disabled.

***Just in the very park we loved they have these amazing megafestivals with live bands, like Hardly Strictly Bluegrass, free!; Outside Lands
(expensive, but there used to be a mighty party outside the fence too, & we were out there danSing to SIA, Radiohead & Muse, some of our most
favorite of all times!, among many other bands), & all kinds of smaller events.

Back to Home                  Contact Shamanatrix  415 4243935
But  the few paper photos I had collected from then on I managed  to
loose in a critical moment of my rocky life in the early 2000's. These
sad worn out pix are all I had from the years I had a shaved head in my
late 20's/early 30's. All the rest of the pix in these site have been
taken digitally in my 40's.